“The Golden 9” with Dr. Ali Hodgkinson, a GP, IBCLC (in training), Possums NDC Accredited, and Mother.
If there is anything that I second here it’s the book, The Discontented Little Baby Book by Pamela Douglas. That book too changed my course of parenting and normalised a lot of what I was experiencing with my new baby.
All the feels with this advice from Dr. Ali, just goes to show that being prepared makes the world of a difference.
Be ready to receive well-meaning, conflicting advice, and don’t be afraid to ignore most of it. The most confusing thing for me as a first-time mum was how varied the advice was. You might not believe it at first but try to remember you are the ultimate expert on your baby.
Personally, I wish someone had told me to read The Discontented Little Baby Book by Pamela Douglas before my twins were born. (Instead of another well-known, very different, book - YKYK!). Finding an approach and community that aligns with your values helps so much with feeling confident to manage those rocky times.
Breastfeeding was the biggest challenge for me, and I was completely unprepared. Consider talking with a lactation consultant before the baby arrives. Understanding the basics about how your body works and what you can do in the first hours and days of your baby’s birth to optimise breastfeeding will mean that you’re not a deer in headlights like I was.
For mums of twins, don’t feel you must rush into tandem feeding. In the beginning, feeding the babies one at a time will mean full attention can be given to each baby, so you can optimise the latch with each. Once the babies are a bit bigger and both have their techniques down to a tee, you can experiment with tandem breastfeeding positions to be more productive and time efficient.
Your baby will have a little personality from very early on, unique and different from others. Their temperament, sleep needs and preferences are completely out of your control. I can confirm this, having had two very different children who were exposed to the same environment. Getting to know your baby and what works for your family takes time, patience, and experimentation. Trust this process and your parenting instincts.
I wish I didn’t stress so much about a schedule for sleep and feeds and instead focussed on filling the days with enjoyable activities out of the house. Babies love sensory experiences; it helps with their development and sleep, and mums’ mental health too!
Don’t be shy accepting practical help (e.g. healthy, home-cooked meals, a load of washing hung up). All support that enables you to rest and focus on getting to know your baby is priceless.
Give yourself a break and embrace the chaos, mess, and imperfection. It’s all temporary and right now nothing matters except your new family getting to know each other.
Take plenty of photos and ask your partner to take some of you with your little one too. Those precious moments turn into memories way too quickly, and photos will become your most treasured possessions.
Dr. Ali is a mother of twins and a GP with a keen interest in women’s health, fertility, and child health.
As an NDC practitioner supporting families with breastfeeding, baby sleep and cry-fuss problems, Dr. Ali works collaboratively with parents, helping them to feel more confident to trust their instincts during this often-overwhelming time.
Dr. Ali’s approach is aligned with evidence-based Possum’s & Co principles, understanding infant neuroscience, evolutionary biology and responsive parenting or ‘cued care.’
Dr. Ali’s goal is to empower families with evidence-based information so they can experiment and find what works for their family unit and relax into bonding with their new baby.
Currently, Dr. Ali is completing her training to become an International Board-Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) through the mentorship pathway with my esteemed colleague Dr. Eliza Hannam.