“It’s Not Selfish, it’s Necessary” with Molly, a Postpartum Doula, Founder of Hold the Mother, and Mother

Molly is based in Melbourne, an amazing postpartum doula, and mother. I’ve watched her work from afar and appreciate her gentleness in her work and openness to the world of postpartum. Molly also happens to work with one of my favourite perinatal GPs, Dr. Nicole Gale!

Motherhood is beautiful, messy, and filled with unconditional love. Literally life-altering, a new world and a new role. A new relationship you develop with your baby, and also the ever-evolving relationship you have with yourself. 

While you settle into your new role, my advice to you is to carve out time for yourself, time for self-care. Yes, making time for yourself in motherhood is challenging. The pull to be ‘on’ 24/7 for your little babe and family, especially within the first few months. But by making time to recharge, unwind and reconnect with yourself, you will find balance, a state of calm amongst the chaos. It’s not selfish to take time for yourself, in fact, it’s essential for your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. 

Identify what brings you joy and calm, even the smallest of practices. This might look a little different to pre-baby life and that’s ok - you are a completely new person, and you still matter.

Early days with a newborn might feel like it’s impossible to fit self-care in but start small, little snippets, prioritising rest, and give yourself time to adjust. When you are ready, maybe a solo walk with fresh air and a podcast in, or call a supportive friend for a chat when bub is cuddled up on you, or make time for a warm shower and invest in your skincare routine if that brings you back to yourself. Deep breathing exercises and meditation, relax your body and mind.

As you move through, finding your confidence and routine, you might get back into your favourite gym or Pilates class when the time is right, find yourself a morning or evening routine that works, venture out of the house without the nappy bag, this solo time dedicated to filling your cup. It might not always work out, and that’s ok, try again the next day.

Importantly, leaning on the village around you for support so that you can have a break, and prioritise self-care will enable the time and space needed for you to implement such practices. You are so worthy of these moments, and there is absolutely no need to feel guilty for prioritising yourself. When you fill your cup, your entire family and community will benefit. 

Somedays will flow with ease, others you will feel wobbly and unable to catch a break. By coming back to yourself and these little daily self-care rituals, you will feel joy as you move through and embrace each season of motherhood. 

Molly’s website Hold The Mother is a great place to start if you’re looking for a gentle postpartum doula in Melbourne.